Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Can you just leave a place like this?

Yesterday was intense.
 I met with one of the girls to do this evaluation that we're working on.  The questions range from if they have any income to how they have been abused.  She told me a bit of her story.  How her dad abandoned her and her mother was killed.  How she has 5 younger siblings to take care of.  How she lives with her uncle who doesn't want them.  How she has no means of income.  How she has a 6 month old daughter whose father ran from them.  How she has no money to feed or clothe herself or the other children.  How she never feels joy, has suicidal thoughts, can not sleep, is not accepted by her community and how she feels that things will never get better.  As she sat with me, crying and holding her beautiful daughter, I realized how ridiculous it is that I am going to leave here, to go back to my plush life, to go back to parents, food, a house, an education and more while these girls leave here and go back to nothing.  Go back to struggling just to get by.  I'm not sure I'm going to be able to adjust back.  I feel invested here and I hate thinking about just up and leaving these girls to their difficulties while I get to go back to comforts these girls can't even imagine.

I want to save them all, to pay the small amount it would cost to feed them for a year, to do something.  I don't know what though.  What will help someone without hindering their motivation to work.  I could give money, but will that help the problem or just cover it up or delay it??  I had read Acts 3:1-10 yesterday morning and was thinking about how it's easier to throw money at a situation but that by doing so you are really just delaying fixing the problem.  Just allowing the person to live to the next day.  I want to do something.  I want to change it, fix it.  But it's not that easy and that sucks.

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